i had a reply text message from a girlfriend saying, ‘go triple bat girl’ .. which was in response to getting to bed at 6am one morning after a three tiered self ‘S’ multi ‘O’ session – ahh, no need to elaborate if you don’t get the cryptic nature ;p
perhaps i’ll just let cliff richard do the singing …
last night, i spent an evening with deepak chopra at the state theatre in sydney .. yes, a night of seduction of the soul & spirit – nothing i haven’t already been accustomed to or acquainted with before .. just me following the erratic path of my soul to receive another subtle zinger from the universe – is all ..
as serendipity would have it, i had set the intention weeks ago to attend but could not see how i could afford to go – long story short, i turned up 20 minutes prior to the opening and found out there was only one ticket left .. it was mine!
i could elaborate on the experience, but when he spoke of father’s death – the ritual, the cremation .. tears began streaming down my face for about ten minutes .. for at that moment, i had a profound insight connected through this analogy – another soul’s experience resonated with me as i had an OBE with a glimpse of a future premonition .. one of my karmic lessons suddenly became clear to me – for me, it was all about forgiveness – my soul understood this .. i got it – i finally let go of the struggle .. momentarily, i transcended the ego’s struggle ..
anyhow, deepak sprinked a bit of musical meditation via rumi through out the night – I LOVE RUMI .. the mystic sufi persian poet – i bought the CD ‘a gift of love’ by deepak & friends (madonna, demi moore, martin sheen etc) .. beautiful enough words from the enigmatic heretic himself delivered by lovers of love & interwoven with luscious beats ..
intoxicated by love
caught in the fire of love
i love this word .. for many reasons ..
SERENDIPITY:- the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely
i am often moved by people, things & events that touch me deeply & profoundly .. songs & movies have a way of reaching out into the ether and connecting with us on a soulful level because of their ability to use primal & powerful archetypes that we often relate to in our own lives – archetypes, that we quite often repress, hide or deny from ourselves ..
i wanted to share one of my favourite scenes from the movie as it highlights an essence of the ‘subtle’, the ‘magical’ & the ‘meaning’ of it all – especially in the very last scene ..
i have a special connection with wollman rink – for some strange unbeknownst reason .. i was there many years ago before the film was shot .. and sat right where kate & john sat in one part of the movie .. blah blah ..
but it is the obituary tribute scene which is the definitive moment in expressing the sentiment for what i believe in – that all things happen for a reason if you choose to look deep enough ..
ok .. so i went to bed at 7am this morning, rolled out again at 8pm this evening .. wondering how the hell i was gonna pay for 2 weeks rent in arrears & 2 weeks rent in advance tomorrow (loooong story) .. as if by divine providence, in that precise moment, my landlady rings while my headspace is spiralling out of control & leaves a message asking why i am behind (first time ever behind in rent, mind you) ..
i begin to wonder what transit i have been operating under lately ..
man, it’s true! you really do ‘get’ what you focus on .. the subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between a positive or a negative, so the universe just dishes it out how it sees fit – esp. if you don’t get specific enough about your desired manifestation!
i’m all sorted now so it’s all good – but i just happened to find this divine blurb by a guru swami of sorts that i wanted to share ..
in case you were wondering, i am not religious in anyway – i am a spiritualist, an eclectic esoteric .. i draw from various strands & traditions of thoughts & paths .. mixing & matching as i go .. there is no right or wrong way .. there just ‘is’ .. whatever resonates with me – i take what fits & ditch the rest .. no need to get so hung on dogma and semantics now ya hear ?
anyway, i just thought this kicked ass ..
Remember, if all religion including all holy books and places of worship disappeared from this earth, the sun will still rise from the east, birds will pick grains to feed their babies and your heart will still throb with love.
To realise you fully, who you are, what this journey of life is all about, is the only real path.
Anything else is just to distract you from your natural urge.
The vast knowledge which you have gathered from books, borrowed from philosophical studies, thoughts and imaginations, are of no meaning – as they are not yours. They are nothing to be proud of.
Only the ‘you’ in you is real; when you clean it from everything; you will find an ignorance – of who you are. It is the only ignorance which no one likes to be exposed and, by every means, has tried to bury. It is the only treasure you can be proud of, and it is yours.
When you reveal it, you will face your natural innocence, and then your experience of enlightenment is not far away. But enlightenment is still an experience and as long as you are there as the experiencer, your enlightenment is just part of your enlightened ego.
Go beyond it, have courage and dissolve, become yourself fully, you are like a vast ocean, don’t settle for being a drop. Attain the beyond, the ultimate void – which is real and which is – you.
go swami ‘whatever your name was again’ .. woohoo!
i thought it was a lovely gentle reminder that sometimes we get so caught up in our search for ‘meaning’ and finding that extra ‘something’ in our lives when it should all be so simple – really .. SIMPLICITY FOLKS !!! it’s almost always often the safest bet sometimes …
yeh yeh – stop thinking of me as a bohemian tree-hugging hippy gypsy activist alright .. lol
following on from posting a comment to another blog, i thought of this classic aussie song by the whitlams ‘no aphrodisiac’ (written over a decade ago) .. generally, i will break out into some rhyme or song or bust a move on the dance floor (based on the situational or conversational context – i’ve always had a knack for lyrical jingles) – or maybe it is just madness …
ahh – it must be love .. love .. love (see, what i mean?)
anyway, back to loneliness being an aphrodisiac – ’tis a great song to unwind & mellow out to .. grab a bottle of red vino, your favourite slacks, comfy lounge and away you go .. plunging faster into that dark deep pit of self-depracating indulgence – ’tis an art form, n’est c’est pas?
try it – the piano bars & guitar solo will send you reeling down nostalgia lane faster than you ever imagined …
official clip
no aphrodisiac (with ACO)
for 6 months, i’ve been purging like a mad woman possessed – physically, emotionally & mentally but more importantly psychologically ..
by dictionary definition, purging means:-
* to rid, clear or empty of whatever is impure or undesirable
* to clear by cleansing or purifying
* to remove of imputed guilt or ritual uncleanliness
* to put to death or otherwise eliminate
i guess being a jungian psych student/analyst, the ‘inner work’ has been a few years in the making for me, but it definitely hit its peak this year – somebody should’ve told me that the journey i was on, was more than just a rollercoaster ride through the bowels of hell and back .. lol ..
i process a lot .. think too much .. have altercations & inner dialogues with myself – stage wars between my conscious ego & my subconscious/unconscious soul .. usually half baked nonsense mixed in with crystalline insights ..
perhaps, i’m part of a new age of natural spiritual trippers that need no induced assistance ..
was it norman vincent peale that once said – ‘when man’s mind is stretched, it cannot go back to its original state’ .. ?
the more i read, the more i learn, the more depths i delve into, the more i examine life & its vicissitudes .. the less stringent & hardcore my long-held beliefs & opinions become .. suddenly, i begin to wonder what all this knowledge is for if it can’t be applied, expressed, manifested or tested .. ?
sometimes i wonder whether i need valium, happy gas or just sleep .. lol ..
my esoteric friends keep telling me to journal – ‘write it all down, get it all out’ they said .. boy, was i slow to catch on to blogging – i have so much going on in my head that i sometimes it feels like i am just doing loops – like an aircraft in a holding pattern, waiting to land .. like groundhog day in slow motion .. or in reverse!
my true north has made itself known to me – i know with some sense of clarity what my passion & purpose is .. i have ventured out, taken a bold leap of faith & have started making monumental changes in my life – but naturally, i have some trepidation .. i am a by product & sum of all my experiences, fears, failures, achievements & conquests .. by nature, i am in introvert, but have adapted into an extrovert in social & work situations ..
i have learnt to shift psychological gears – in my pursuit of being an experience pumping adrenaline junkie of life .. but i have had to wade through a pile of knee high shit to come out of the illusory quicksand i put myself in .. or was it a strange vortex that i slipped into unbeknownst to myself .. ?
i’m beginning to understand how cathartic & healing it is for bloggers to be able to rant & rave with as much or as little anonymity as they like on here .. i have been doing so steadily for the past couple of weeks .. i jumped off facebook (or should i call it stalkbook) .. for various reasons – but felt that i needed to be able to uncensor myself, be authentic & generally purge or vent spleen without being judged by people i really knew.
perhaps, blogging here is just another means to an end .. perhaps, it will just be another fruit loopy temporary half way house to offload excess debris until my less fractured identity returns to some semblance of normality or wholeness ..
in the meantime, welcome to my psychological hijinx playground …
ok – supposedly this came from oprah .. ? it was another post that i felt deserved a community announcement ..
*If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
*If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
*Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
*Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
*Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
*Slower is better.
*Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
*If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”.
*A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
*Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
*Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.”
*You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
*The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
*Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
*He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
*Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
*Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
*If something bothers you, speak up.
*Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
*You cannot change a man’s behaviour. Change comes from within.
*Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job.
*Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
*Never let a man define who you are.
*Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
*A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
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